Lesson 1: Money does not grow on trees, nor are the roads made of gold. It may surprise many Americans (not Haitian Americans) that many believe this narrative, on top of the universal belief that the United States is still considered the land of opportunity. It’s the reason why many dare to trek unpredictable waters aboard vessels that are less sturdy than a toddler’s toy tug boat in their bath water. The reason why an even dangerous pathway through Latin America to get to the U.S. southern border is worth all its trials, tribulations, and immigration officers doing their best Woody from Toy Story impersonation on horses that talk ish about the weight they gained back at the stables.
Lesson 2: The American economy.. Many thought that when they arrived that a brand new Jeep would be waiting for them because their family member was “rich”. The consistent Western Union/C.A.M transfers have given diaspora rookies more false hopes than Ms. Cleo, self-proclaimed influencers courses, and record contracts sealed inside a WWE steel cage with Diddy as the referee. Upon arrival, those who believe in this facade are quickly inundated with immigration fees, lawyer fees, taxes, and the all too familiar low wage paying job. It is always best to get a realistic lay of the land before making the inevitable leap for the chance of living a quality life. Do not rely on just opinions, but on the facts and laws that affect you financially and status wise. Aspire to greatness with these as your foundation, and you’re off to the races.
Lesson 3: Acts of service are NOT slavery. When newcomers arrive, they are most likely staying with a family member or friend that most likely has little to no expectation of rent or contributions to bills. As much as there is an immediate negative connotation to this, the newcomer becomes a liability by definition. The sponsor must feed, cloth, and transport them because they don’t have the means. Often taking from what little they have for themselves and their families. The least that can be offered in return are tangibles that don’t cost nothing but time and effort. Offer to clean, to cook, to run errands that can be done in either walking or bus transport distance. And if this is asked of you, it is not an insult. All things in this world by design are transactional no matter how idealistic you may think. Getting on WhatsApp to complain to people back home that would change places with you in an instant is not only tacky, but a sealing of fate for when the shoe is on the other foot.
Lesson 4: Just because he drives a foreign, doesn’t mean he will take care of you. Ladies this is especially for you. Appearances are not always as they seem. I mean sure, the intricate gold design going throughout his outfit at the party screams expenditure, but the bank account ain ‘mathin’ after the purchase. Not to say there aren’t some guys who really got it, but if he is leading with the wallet, chances are the funds have a time limit. Sure he drives a Benz, but it is not indicative of character? Do you want to be a wife(singular), or be one of many he gave that title to here and back in Haiti? Oh, and another thing, do not move out of your family member’s home to live in his apartment because he told you he can provide a better life than the “slavery” you are being put through at home. This tactic has sadly worked way too many times than our ladies care to admit. A real man who is choosing a wife welcomes a woman who wants to know her suitor.
Lesson 5: White people are NOT gods. Stop it! They are quite human and susceptible to the same things you are. Yes, they hold the majority of the wealth in this nation, doesn’t make them magical or divine. It is sickening to see how much brown nosing there is due to someone’s complexion by those new here. You can surpass these wealth gaps without having to step on those who look like you while honoring those who don’t. It’s a divisive tactic used to pin nations against each other. Whether they are Black American, Jamaican, or African, do not judge someone by what was told to you. You could be missing out on so much by looking at someone as less than you. Let’s not repeat it.
Lesson 6: Social media are lies on steroids. Life is not just ice cream and patte. People’s “so-called” best lives are moments captured. Key word being “moments”. Do not let these glamor shots, vacation getaways, house and car purchases make you feel less than. Do not envy things that you may know nothing of their origin. Not everyone has it going on like that, and those that do, don’t make social media posts a priority unless it’s tied to a check or emotional currency that you cannot spend. Love yourself and your process because everyone goes through theirs. Whether theirs are faster than you, slower than you, appreciate your own moments
